“Doing” Gender a 48 Year Commitment.

In this 48 year journey of commitment, this couple, my adopted parents. They have been married for 48 years and have continued to assume their own gender roles as a what I call an “old fashioned” heterosexual couple. In this strand of photos, we will discover a few key moments that “qualify” for “doing” gender and also how they are more of a traditional heterosexual “old fashioned” couple. I have discovered how they also want to do these things for each other not only is it their “duties” to each other. They love each other greatly and even though it is not how I would choose to be, but it works for them.

Cooking for the man!

She has cooked her husband breakfast, lunch and dinner the past 48 years. When I asked her why go through all the trouble she responded, “I watched my Mom cook for my Father all those years and she said it is what we do as wives.”

Man=Hunter=Provider

Pictured above is my dad fixing his bow that he has killed several turkey and deer that my Mom has later prepared him for dinner. My dad never would expect for my Mom to go hunting to provide food my Dad states “That the man is suppose to provide food for the table.”

Typical Duties!

She cleans the house everyday from top to bottom. She tells me “This is just part of my job and how it always has been if I do not do this, there would be chaos.”

The Manual “Tough” Labor

He has been fixing things from cabinet hinges all the way to cars for my Mom ever since he met her.

Scrub, Scrub, Scrub!

Mom does the dishes every night as a part of her duties as a wife. She says that “There always is some kind of mess she has to clean up after her husband.”

7 thoughts on ““Doing” Gender a 48 Year Commitment.”

  • first off i think this is super cute! I feel like this shows gender roles in relationship really well though especially when it comes to older couples. They grew up being told women do house work and men do more “manly” things like fixing things, working or hunting to provide. Growing up with divorced parents and living with my dad he played both roles of the “house wife”, the provider and the fixer. Its interesting how normal things like this seem to us.

  • I really enjoyed reading this post. It reminds me a lot about my family members back at home and how they take care of each other with these gender roles. Even though my parents follow gender roles to a certain extent, they have always raised me and my brother not to believe in these roles and how it is okay to not follow them.

  • First of all, congratulations to your parents for being married for almost half a century!! That’s awesome. I really liked this analysis. The gender roles within my parents’ marriage are set up in a similar fashion. I also like that your mom mentioned that one of the reasons she cooks for your father is because she saw her mother doing the same. This shows that gender norms are passed down from generation to generation. Sometimes we don’t even think about it and it almost just seems natural. It is interesting to think that it is all just a social construct.

  • Your post is something I see with my own parents as well!! Very rarely do they ever switch roles unless my dad makes dinner (and that’s usually grilling and is restricted to the summer season). Up until a few years ago, I didn’t take these roles with much weight since it just seems to be the norm, but they all are extremely gendered. Wonderful job pointing them out!

  • Great job on your post! It made me consider the roles in my parent’s relationship and the effect it had on me. Growing up, my parents shared the chores for the most part, but there were certain things my mom did just because it’s how they’ve always done it; the laundry, for example. Now in my own relationship, I’m finding that I prefer to do the laundry rather than my partner doing it.

  • Your post really made me take a deeper look at my own relationship as well as my parents! My dad is the same way with hunting and providing food for the family, he would never expect my mom to do that job either. We find it fair because the duties are split in half but when you really look at it, you realize how deeply rooted these “roles” are in our everyday life.

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